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Author Topic: Help Please to correct an English text  (Read 771 times)
alex-1907
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« on: January 06, 2008, 09:22:59 PM »

I'm from Russia and don't know English very well. I will be thankful, if you help me to correct a lexical correctness of the following fragment of a poem:

May I  say as:

I will be wait, when having left this world,
That’s chilled with a rain, you’ll go away …
I’ll walk alone …?

Or correctly:

I will be wait, when you leave our world,
That’s chilled with a rain. You’ll go away …
I’ll walk alone …?

Thanks for the help!
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flybers
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« Reply #1 on: January 07, 2008, 07:03:30 PM »

Hello Alex. I will help you if I can but I speak no russian.

As this is a poem it is difficult to know the exact wording.
If you can give the name of the person who wrote it and the name of the poem I can help you more.

I will be wait, = I will wait,     or       I'll wait,          or          I'll be waiting,
when having left this world, (This is OK but would be better as "when leaving this world" or "after leaving this world")
that's chilled with a rain, = that's chilled with rain.
you'll go away ... I'll walk alone ...? = You'll go away... I'll walk alone.

So the best I can suggest would be to write it like this.


I'll wait,
after leaving this world,
that's chilled with rain.
You'll go away.
I'll walk alone.


or (to make better sense or sentiment)


I'll wait,
after leaving this world,
that's chilled with rain.
if you go away.
I'll walk alone.


reply if you know the author or the name of the poem and I'll be able to be more precise.

Andy....

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flybers
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« Reply #2 on: January 07, 2008, 07:08:40 PM »

Merry Christmas Alex !!!
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